1. The Bedroom
The sunlight came in through the cracks of the blinds. Particles of dust were floating through the air and gleamed in the light. Joel’s apartment was bright and quite messy. Bright due to the fact that the walls were white with nothing hanging up. Joel’s comforter on his bed was white crumpled upon white sheets. He had a dirty, shag white rug on his blonde hard wood floor. There wasn’t a lot in this studio apartment besides a television and trash. Joel didn’t own a vacuum nor did he believe in dusting. There were clothes strewn about all over the place. Including, red high heel shoes, a skirt, a blouse, bra and a thong. None of those things belonged to Joel.
Joel yawned as he woke up in bed. He rubbed his eyes with one hand, feeling as if his other arm was trapped. He opened his eyes in a panic to find the cause of his stress to be a beautiful woman snuggled up to him. Joel was in disbelief. He racked his brain trying to remember what happened the night before. A light bulb went off above his head and he smiled. He lifted the blanket up slowly, not to wake her but to check her out. Total approval swam across his face. He would have been much more excited if he could remember the events of last night, including the sex. He thought for sure that none of his friends would believe that he had bagged such a model of a woman. Perfect porcelain skin, long flowing red hair, long flawless legs and an exceptional rack. This woman was by far, the hottest chick Joel had ever penetrated and he wanted everyone to know it.
Joel quickly looked around for his cell phone without making too much movement. The beauty queen’s head was still resting on his arm. Joel saw his cell phone. It was just there on the night stand, very close to him. He stretched his arm out to get it but it seemed to just be out of his reach. Joel scrunched up his face tightly and visualized his arm getting just an inch or two longer so that he may be able to grab the phone. After a minute or two of this, Joel managed to finger his phone closer and closer until he could grab it. I do not believe that his arm actually grew. Joel on the other hand, thought he might have just found special super powers but that wasn’t important at the moment, he needed proof that this sex goddess let Joel touch her naked body. He snuggled up next to her and took a pic as if they were both asleep. Then one of him gently kissing her forehead. Then he took one of him with a big stupid grin on his face and the last one was one where he pulled up the sheet so that you could see their naked bodies intertwined. He let out a giggle on that last picture and that was what rustled Erin to wake up.
Erin slowly opened her eyes. She was confused about where she was. Then she looked at Joel who quickly kissed her on the forehead.
“Hello there.” Erin said with a grin before snuggling back into Joel’s chest.
“Hello to you too.” Joel really had no idea what to say or do. You see, this woman was completely out of Joel’s league. She was a few years older. She smelled good. She probably had a job. They were in a very comfortable and peaceful silence. They were both present in the moment. Nothing else seemed to matter or be a concern. Not to say that this moment would last longer than a moment.
“What time is it?” Erin asked peacefully.
Joel reached for his cell phone that he quickly placed out of reach back on the nightstand as she was waking up. “It’s a little after nine.” Joel answered.
Erin’s eyes almost popped out of her head. She scurried out of bed and in a manic state, tried to collect all of her belongings and put her clothes on. Joel took in the whole show to check out all her parts he couldn’t see before and was very pleased.
“Shit! I am so fucking late!” Erin cried. “Oh my God!”
“What’s the rush?” Joel asked.
“I’m late.” She looked at him like he was retarded goat farmer. “For work! I’m late for work.”
“That’s super. I work weekends.”
Joel understood that he might have just upset the beautiful woman. “I’m sorry. I know you’re in a hurry. Let me help.”
“Just tell me where my panties are and we’ll be good.”
Joel looked around and pointed to the other side of the room. “I think that’s them over there.”
Erin ran over and slipped them on. “Shit. Shit. Shit. Where am I?”
Joel laughed. “My apartment.”
“No, you fuck head,” Erin yelled. “Where am I? What city?”
“Oh!” Joel chuckled. “You’re in Burbank.”
“Fuck!” Erin said in a voice of defeat. “I am so fucked.”
“Can I get your number at least?”
“Whatever. Look: I don’t have time for this right now. I bet last night was great and if that’s the case, I’m sure I’ll see you around.” Erin slipped on her last shoe and headed out the door.
“Damn.” Joel seemed a tad bit sad. But, Joel also thought that he was God’s gift to women even though his skinny, lanky, five-foot-seven frame was constantly battling against him. At that moment, Joel thought to himself that she would be back. One night soon, he would be sitting there playing video games in his underwear, eating pizza and she would knock on the door wearing nothing but a raincoat. Joel became aroused. He started rubbing his penis when his front door flew open.
“Purse!” Erin yelled and ran in to grab it while Joel tried to somehow make it look like he wasn’t masturbating. And just like that she was gone.
Joel laughed and fell back on his bed. He grabbed his phone and looked at the photos. Joel’s smile was huge. Joel realized that probably the reason why his penis was stiffening was because he needed to urinate. So up and off to the bathroom Joel went.
2. The Bathroom
Joel had to stop himself in the mirror. “You are the fucking man! Good job stud muffin.” Joel flexed in the mirror, Joel struck a few poses. “You deserve to treat yourself today.” Feeling that he could no longer hold his urine, Joel moved to the toilet. His penis flopped down, aiming for the bowl. Nothing happened. There was a pain. Joel sold it on his face. Nothing was coming out. It felt as though someone was pinching it off. He looked down, lifted his penis to make eye contact with it. That’s when he saw it; a greenish, yellowish scab covering the pee hole.
“Hmmmm” Joel thought aloud. He didn’t understand what happened. It looked as though he either blew his nose in his hand and wiped it on the head of his penis, or his penis had a runny nose. Considering, his penis doesn’t have a nose, he moved away from that theory. He still had to urinate very badly, so he tried to catch the scab under his nail and rip it off. Which he did; this was followed by a painful scream. Then the urine came out. This urine was accompanied by another scream. It was at this moment that Joel thought he might want to go see a doctor.
But first, Joel thought he should have some coffee. I will make some for myself right now, too.
3. The Kitchen
Joel got the coffee out and put a filter in the coffee maker. Joel didn’t know how to make a single cup of coffee in his 12 cup coffee maker. This made him mad. So every day, he would make 12 cups of coffee and only drink one or two. He hated how wasteful it was and really wanted to get one of those single serving coffee makers but couldn’t afford it. Joel didn’t have a job.
Joel’s phone rang. It was playing some awful ring tone that he thought would attract attention from women in the bar when they heard his great musical taste. No such luck. His taste in music sucked. It was really, really bad.
“Hey man! I had a question for you.” Joel informed the caller. “I was in the shitter going to take a piss, and it looked like there was a bunch of dried up snot on my dick hole. Or maybe I shoved a bunch of boogs up my hole last night and it dried up, got all crunchy.”
I just want to apologize for Joel right now. That was disgusting. I do not condone that talk.
Joel continued, “I’m totally grossing myself out right now trying to explain this to you.”
You’re grossing us out too Joel.
Again, Joel continued, “You either know what I’m talking about or you don’t.” Joel sat quietly while the person on the other end asked him something. “Yeah, it burned bad when I pissed this morning.” Another light went off above Joel’s head. “Holy crap! I forgot to tell you! I scored with this major ass hottie last night. Super model shit. Like Wonder Woman and her Amazonian sexy friends. She was like six feet of hot.” Joel paused again, listening to the caller. “She was kinda bitchy when she woke up but other than that she was amazing.” There seemed to be some disbelief on the other end of the phone. “I swear.” More disbelief. “Yes I did.” It didn’t look good for Joel. “No she didn’t! Look, I’ll send you a pic right now.” Joel pulled the phone from his head to text the picture to his friend who thinks there is no way Joel landed a girl as perfect as Joel was saying. “See! I told you she was hot.” His friend hadn’t received the picture yet. “Well let me know when you do.” The caller got it. “Right? Now you know what I’m talking about.” It seems that the caller has a more level head than Joel. “Yeah, I guess, we woke up naked.” The caller seemed to have some insight. “STD? Bullshit. Please don’t scare me like that. I was gonna go but I really don’t want to tell a doctor, “could you please look at my dirty dick” you know what I mean?” Joel poured himself a cup of coffee and took small swigs while the caller explained things to him. “That’s a really good point. I never thought of it like that.”
4. The Waiting Room
Joel decided that he should get his penis looked at. So, Joel stood in a moderately long line at the local Emergency Room. Joel didn’t have health insurance, like most Americans, so he can’t pay co-pays. But if he went into the ER, he knew they could not turn him away. They will just bill him and he will throw the bills into the trash without even opening them. Since most Americans do this, the hospitals raise their prices in hopes that the people with insurance can cover the cost of those who don’t pay. It’s a very silly, yet vicious circle.
While Joel was standing in line, waiting to talk to the nurse behind the sign-in window, he was worried about how he would explain his situation. Joel was quickly looking for a distraction. He found one. A very disheveled man in a large military coat came stumbling in, then slipped and fell down very close to where Joel was standing. Joel rushed over. “Easy there man. Let me help you up.”
The man held his jacket closed tightly and gave Joel a strange look that he would help him up. “Thank you. I should be fine now.”
“Hell, you could probably sue the crap out of this place now for some extra scratch.”
“Oh, that won’t be necessary.” The man said with a smirk.
It was now Joel’s turn at the window. Joel walked up with some apprehension. There was a large black woman behind the window. She had the biggest tits that Joel had ever seen. They were fighting to get out of her nurses uniform. He could tell that her bra wasn’t giving her enough support because she just plopped them down on the counter to let the counter deal with the gravity of her breast situation. Joel felt his penis stiffen. He quickly tried to think of things like his grandmother playing T-ball to try to get the arousal of the giant fat bags coming off the nurse, out of his head.
“Hello!” The nurse yelled. She seemed upset. She apparently had been greeting Joel for some time during Joel’s titty hypnosis.
“Hello!” For some reason he felt the need to yell back. Perhaps he thought that she couldn’t hear through the glass and that’s why she yelled at him.
What Joel didn’t know at the moment, was this large black beauty, was about to be arrested. Earlier that morning, she cut off her boyfriend’s penis for cheating on her. After he passed out from loss of blood she tried to sew his penis back on using her nursing skills. She made it four inches shorter which made his penis just under average. She gave him some morphine that she would steal from the hospital and sell to the junkies in her neighborhood and put him in bed. Twenty minutes from the time Joel stepped up to the window, her boyfriend would wake up. He would be confused. But he would call the police and let them know what happened. He would then have to show his mutilated member to the peace officers. They would then come to the emergency room with her boyfriend. They would have him admitted. Then they would take her out in handcuffs. If they only knew that they would have to come right back and if the large black penis killer knew that her being taken away was the only thing that would save her life that day, I’m sure she would put up less of a fight in the next hour.
“My dick!” Joel yelled, “My dick!” Joel realized that he was yelling now and that maybe he didn’t have to. So he got closer to the glass and lowered his voice. “My penis. There is something wrong with my penis.”
“Have a seat, Richard, You’ll be called in in a moment. “
“No my name is Joel.”
“I know. Sit down.”
Joel sat down next to the disheveled man. “What you in for?” Joel asked in a humorous voice.
The disheveled man had a far off look in his eyes and seemed not too terribly interested in what Joel had to say. “Oh nothing really, I just have to speak with the doctor that saw my wife yesterday.”
Joel sat in an uncomfortable silence. He felt an extreme need to break it. “I had to pull a cork out of my pistol when I woke up today.”
“Funny. I had to do the same thing.”
“Hmm, must be going around. I’m Joel by the way.” Joel put his hand out to shake the man’s hand. The man looked at his hand and then looked away.
Joel pulled his hand back feeling a bit stupid. “Alright Bob. Good luck with your junk.”
The door to the triage station opened. The cock assassin came out. “Joel. Come on back.”
Joel waved bye to Bob who wasn’t even looking at him. Joel entered the triage room and had to squeeze past the wang shortener but couldn’t help rubbing up against the mass that was her titty titty fat bags. This made him get erect since there was some uncomfortable eye contact that happened during the tit smashing. This made his blood pressure much higher than normal while she took it. That made him even more nervous. This made the nurse think that he may be on drugs. Joel knew that she would think that. That made Joel’s blood pressure even higher. It made sweat form on his brow. It made his breathing shallower. Then he almost fainted when he heard what she said next.
5. The Examination
“Come on; let’s get those clothes off of you.”
“What?” Joel said loudly in a panicked voice.
“There is something wrong with penis correct?”
“We can’t check it through your pants smart guy. Hurry up. I don’t have all day. Follow me.” She led him down the hall. Joel stared at her enormous ass that was held tightly by weird scrubs that were white with rubber ducks and unicorns on them. He wondered if he could manage an ass that big. She let him in the small examination room. She handed him a small gown. “Okay, strip down to nothing and put this gown on. Open in the back.”
“Aren’t you going to buy me dinner first?” Joel said with an uncomfortable grin.
This did not please the cocknivor and she gave him a sad disapproving look. “No. No I am not.” She picked up a clipboard. “Have you had any sexual partners recently?”
“Yes! In fact, just this morning I woke up next to the hottest chick I have ever banged in my life!” Joel saw that this did not impress her. “Sorry, I’m pretty proud of myself right now.”
“Fantastic. Did you wear a condom?”
Joel laughed. “No!” His laugh turned to a nervous giggle. He tried to get serious. “I doubt it. I was pretty drunk last night.”
The Cockxecutoner rolled her eyes. “Well, you dumb ass, you probably infected her.”
“Maybe I got it from her.”
“No. It takes anywhere from two to ten days to show symptoms if you show them at all. Some cases it takes up to a month.”
“What is it?”
“I’ll let the doctor tell you all that. I just wanted to make sure you understood the severity of your dumb ass actions. Most of the doctors here have a bed side manner that is too understanding. Some pricks like you need it hit over their head. You get me, skinny ass white boy?”
“Yes. I do.” Joel looked defeated. The idea of having to tell the beautiful creature he penetrated last night that he has…wait a minute! Joel didn’t know her name or number. Joel smiled and sighed in relief knowing he would never have to tell her.
“The doctor will be in soon.” She opened the door and then both their eyes grew large. She ran out of the room.
You see, what they both heard was Bob. Bob was still in the waiting room. But Bob was loud. Bob was mad. This is what Bob yelled, “You get that fucker out here now! I have a right to ask her!”
Joel wasn’t sure if that was Bob or not because Bob’s voice sounded much different when he screaming. Joel immediately blew off the screaming and started taking off his clothes. He was having a hard time with his gown. He thought for sure that the nurse was wrong telling him to have it open in the back so he turned it around so it would be open in the front so that the doctor would have an easy time checking out his gross penis.
Joel was trying to close the front of the gown, which was really the back of the gown, when the door opened and the doctor entered. The doctor was looking in Joel’s file, “The bad news is it seems that you have gonorrhea. The good news is…”
“Goner what?” Joel said stupidly.
The doctor looked up from the file and they both locked eyes in shock.
Joel smiled and said. “Hey, it’s you!”
In case you haven’t already figured this out, the doctor treating Joel is a tall beautiful red head named Erin.
“Gonorrhea?! Are you serious?!” Erin was obviously upset.
Feeling that the love wasn’t in the room, Joel asked, “So, that’s bad huh?”
“Did you even wear a condom last night?”
“Of course I did! Who doesn’t wear condoms these days?”
Erin looked down at his file. “Says here you didn’t wear a condom last night.”
“Oh that’s not true. A doctor huh? That’s great. I’ve never been with someone so…put together before you know? Career wise and such.” Joel stumbled through his words.
Erin’s anger started to scare Joel. “How could I have been so fucking stupid?” Erin exclaimed. “How could you have done that to me?” Erin repeatedly slammed her clipboard against the counter until it broke in half.
“It’s okay, babe,” Joel tried to defuse the situation. “I didn’t even know until this morning. I swear.”
“Babe? Did you…” Erin is disgusted with Joel. She couldn’t believe he would try pillow talk on her now.
“Look, we’re here. We are in this mess. I’m sick, you’re a doctor. I think this is working out okay actually. You know what I mean?” Joel tried the cute don’t-kill-me face that used to work on his mother.
To Joel’s surprise, Erin’s face went from murderous rage to slight playfulness. I think mischievous would have been a better way to describe it but Joel saw playful.
“You’re right. One hundred percent. You are sick. I am a doctor. You’re sick and I’m a doctor. I’m gonna make it all better now. All right Joe?”
“Whatever.” Erin smiled the creepiest smile Joel had ever seen. “I’m gonna fix you right up so get up on that table there and spread’em.”
“Huh?” Joel said as he slowly moved towards the table. “What’s that there?”
Erin pulled something out of a drawer. She put on latex gloves and got out a tube of thick lubricant. “This is an endocervical brush.” She put the lube on it. “Now why don’t you pull the little sick guy out?”
“Hey!” He took offense to the “little” remark.
“It’s okay. I’m just gonna squirt some of this lube down the hole on the tip.”
Joel couldn’t help from getting an erection. “I’m sorry.”
“About the hard dick or the gonorrhea?”
“Well both, but right now the hard…”
“I see. It’s all right. It will just make my job easier.”
“Really? Okay cool,” Joel smiled.
“On the other hand, it might make it more difficult for you I’m afraid.”
Joel looked frightened. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m gonna scrape out all the bad stuff.”
“That sounds like it’s gonna hurt.”
Erin smiled, “Oh it will.” Her smile turned to disgust. “I had that thing in my mouth.”
Joel smiled, “You did?”
Erin shared a heartfelt glance with Joel. Joel felt like everything is going to be okay. Erin’s face turned to pure evil. She shoved the brush down his tight little dick hole. Joel screamed out. Erin brought it up and down in quick secession.
“You like it when I fuck your hole? Huh? Do you?” Erin spit all over him while she yelled at him.
“Stop! Please!” Joel pleaded with her.
“I gotta get it all out remember? I’m the doctor!”
Erin fucked his urethra with her brush so fast and deep that every time she pulled it up the shaft, blood sprayed out onto her like a money shot. Erin’s white lab coat looked like a blood bukkake snuff film. Joel kicked his legs and finally got away from her. He fell over the back of the exam table and crashed onto the ground. He stood up and saw that the brush was still all the way down his shaft. Handle to orifice. He grabbed it and screamed as he pulled it out. Blood poured out of his urethra like diarrhea after a night of heavy drinking and eating from small carts on the side of the road in Tijuana.
“I fucking think I’ll be fine with just some meds!” Joel yelled.
Erin turned her back to Joel and walked over to the counter with hung her head low. “I’m married Joe. I have fucking children.” She picked up a scalpel. She held it tightly and rubbed her thumb up and down the handle. She turned and rushed Joel. She grabbed him by the throat and picked him up off the ground and slammed him against the wall. Her hair turned into snakes. Her eyes turned into blackness. Her jaw dropped down to her breasts. Her teeth had become more jagged. Darkness dripped out of every orifice on her head. Her grip became tighter on his throat. Then a voice of a thousand demons came out of her open mouth. “I’m going to kill you Joe.”
“It’s Joel…” he gurgled out.
There were gunshots coming from the hallway. This made Erin turn her head towards the door. While she wasn’t paying attention, Joel hit her as hard has he could in the ear. She let go of him and fell to the floor. Joel ran straight for the hallway. Right towards the gunshots.
6. The Hallway
Joel ran out of the room so fast that he slammed into the opposite wall with great force. He bounced off of it so hard he almost flew back into the room he was in such a hurry to get out of. This rang his bell quite a bit and everything sounded muffled and underwater. Slowly he started to recognize the sounds he was hearing. Screams. He heard a lot of screams. He heard these weird whistling sounds. He rubbed his head. He noticed that the weird whistles came right after he heard loud banging sounds. He looked around; everything was blurry. Then he realized that those bangs were gunshots. The whistles were bullets flying passed him. Suddenly he came to his senses. He saw doctors, nurses, patients all running for their lives. Pieces of wall and ceiling were exploding all over the hallway. At the end of the hallway he saw Bob firing an automatic gun. Bob was also screaming.
“Where the fuck is Dr. Campen?” Bob yelled, “Where is she? I deserve to know why my wife is dead!” A nurse tried to make it across the hall next to Joel. Bob clipped her in the head. Her head popped into thousands of tiny pieces of brain, skull, blood, flesh and hair, most of which ended up on Joel. Joel freaked out. This is when he saw all the bodies on the floor. Through the swinging doors he could see that the carnage started in the waiting room. It looked like an even bigger mess out there if that is even possible. Joel knew he needed to do something, but didn’t know what. That was until Erin, or what was left of Erin came out of the exam room.
Joel understood that he needed to get the hell out of there and fast. Joel got up and ran down the hallway, away from Bob and his shooting spree. Erin, or the Erin Demon, galloped huge strides towards Joel. Her appendages seemed longer, she seemed taller, even her fingers had a longer reach than they did minutes before. There was no way Joel could outrun her. She grabbed him by the back of his neck and threw him towards the end of the hallway. Joel had to have flown upwards of thirty feet before colliding with the wall at the end of the hallway in the T shaped intersection like a car smashing into a brick wall. Then he dropped to the floor. The Erin Demon picked Joel up off the floor by his jaw. His feet dangled. The voices of thousands of suffering souls once again spoke to Joel. They said, “I’m going to devour your soul!”
The Erin Demon’s mouth opened even wider. Her jaw was almost down to her waist. Joel’s head was inside her disgusting, putrid mouth that was dripping ooze of black darkness. The only sound was gunshots and screaming. Then the sound of the wall exploding all around them was heard. Joel looked up and saw he wasn’t inside the Erin Demon’s mouth anymore. She looked at him with those cold black eyes, dropped Joel and fell on the floor. At the far end of the hallway, Joel saw Bob. Bob gave Joel a nod. Joel gave Bob a very nervous nod back, followed with a wave and “Hi” under his breath.
Bob then shouted. “Every motherfucker in here will die if I don’t see Dr. Campen right Goddamn now!”
Joel knew he should make a run for it. Bob was blocking the only way out that he knew. He would have to find another exit. He ran to his right.
7. The Maternity Ward
Joel slammed through some double swinging doors. He saw a sign that said “Maternity”. That would explain all the crying he heard. Joel was very nervous because it seemed that for some reason the main power was out in this wing of the hospital. There was some flickering of fluorescent bulbs every few feet so there had to have been a backup generator running, but no real light. He slowly walked around. “Hello?” Joel said. “Hello?” This time he said it much louder. Still no response though. Joel found this weird especially when he arrived at the maternity window where he saw about twenty screaming newborns. “Oh shit.”
Joel couldn’t believe that anyone would just leave these babies here while some maniac was gunning the place the down. Joel then felt bad for calling Bob a maniac since Bob just saved his ass from something that he really didn’t want to think about or worse think about what parts of him have shared what bodily fluids with that creature. Joel needed to get his mind off of what the hell had happened. His penis was still bleeding like a garden hose someone forgot to turn off on a hot summer day so that was a good distraction but then the thought of how much blood he was losing made him think twice about even that. The screaming newborns though, that was the ticket!
Joel went inside the newborn viewing room. “Hey guys. Shhhh. It’s okay. That guy out there wouldn’t hurt you little babies. I wouldn’t worry about it. You just have to be quiet, okay?” This soft tone he is talking with the newborns seemed to be paying off. “Now I don’t want to alarm you guys, but I do have some weird STD. I don’t think you all can catch it but just thought you should know.” Joel then got very concerned. He never found out how it spreads. My god, what if it was air born? Joel quickly looked for a face mask and sure enough, there was a dispenser right there. He grabbed one and put it on. “Look if you guys stopped being abandoned, please don’t tell anyone that I came in here without a mask in my condition.” Then Joel felt stupid for thinking this since newborns can’t talk.
Joel stood in the middle of the room and began to hum a song he liked. I don’t know what song it was because I already told you; Joel’s taste in music was shit. But, all the babies started to calm down. Then something strange happened. They all sat up and looked at him. From every corner of the room, their eyes were transfixed on Joel. “Holy shit, I’m the Baby Whisperer. This is so bad ass.” There was one baby that still looked upset even though it wasn’t crying. “It’s okay little guy. Everything will be all right.” Joel put his finger out so that the newborns tiny hand could hold his finger. Joel was a little taken aback by the force the baby grabbed his finger with and then made very stern eye contact with him. The baby then said, “I’m going to kill you, Joe.”
Joel jumped back, flinging this demonic newborn across the room and knocking over three or four bassinets as he stumbled through the room trying to find an exit. All the little newborns stood up and were jumping out of their tiny metal cribs and rushed him. Joel, who was on his back on the floor, started crawling backwards as fast as he could. Little babies were flying up at him, biting him with their razor sharp gums. He would fling them against the wall just as two more would jump on him. He kicked a couple more, that were flying at him, in midair. He grabbed one by the leg and started swinging it around knocking the other ones away before they landed on him, like he was playing baseball. Joel felt a wall behind him. He looked around quickly and realized that he backed himself into a corner. The babies were getting ready to make their next move. They knew they had him. There seemed to be even more babies than there were in the bassinets. Joel didn’t know what to do.
The main baby, the leader baby, the baby that first spoke to Joel, walked through the crowd of newborns that separated as he came through. “How could you do this to me?” The baby yelled. Its face began to morph into Erin’s face. Scratch that, The Erin Demon’s face. The babies started to melt together around this main baby. Disfigured arms and legs formed. The creature grew to ten feet tall. It was the Erin Demon but made out of gross little baby parts. She picked Joel up off the floor by his face. She got within an inch of his mouth. Joel knew that this was the end. She looked deep into him with black darkness, dripping out of her eye sockets and yelled at the top of her lungs with a voice of a thousand screaming demons, “and that’s why you always wear a condom!”
The Part That Happened During the Epilogue
Joel screamed in bloody terror, dripping with sweat. Joel swung his arms as a last ditch effort to escape. He then realized that he was at his apartment, in bed. He had just woken up from a terrible nightmare. Joel breathed the deepest sigh of relief he had ever breathed. He fell back down in bed chuckling thinking what a stupid ass he had been to think that could be real. That’s when he rolled over and saw Erin in bed with him, still asleep. He gasped and jumped out of the bed. He covered his mouth and slightly screamed in his hands quietly. Joel checked his penis. No cork. Joel smiled. He grabbed his cell phone off the night stand, slowly got back in bed with her and posed for some pictures.